angers

it makes me feel like running in the midst of darkness

it makes me feel like downing pots of black dog

it makes me feel like i can't feel

it makes me feel like i am super

it makes me feel mute

it makes me feel like i want to strangle you until you choke and ask for forgiveness and i leave you alone to gasp for air and that's it

it makes me want to see you suffer worse than i do and i know you won't and i will end up feeling worse and in the end i just want to walk away

it makes me want to pierce every inch of my skin to remind me that it is not worth it to be mad

it makes me want to tear out every pieces of imperfection that is actually perfect

it makes me realize it is just not worth it

restless

i can't rest well knowing things are beyond control

i can't rest well having to try and swallow my beliefs and letting go of my pride

i can't rest well knowing i can't trust more than i could have

i can't rest well knowing i am being too convenient

i can't rest well feeling left out

i can't rest well being pissed off

i can't rest well being myself but having to live in a mirror

i can't rest well not able to do anything that could help at the moment

i can't rest well having to sit and wait

i can't rest well not trying to force it

i can't rest well thinking of things to think

i can't rest well because i see thoughtlessness

i just can't rest well

nagging agitation

Same as wax on your hands.
Same as dried soap on your elbow.
Same as stains on your leather.
Same as eyelash in your eye.
Same as fake authority.
Same as naive ignorance of deliberate projection of image.
Same as running on near-empty tank on the highway.
Same as trying to fry and egg using water.
Same as setting boundaries to air.
Same as delusional focus.
Same as going too far in the wrong direction.
Same as looking similar to a primate.
Same as blowing own horn while deaf.
Same as ...
Same as a weird conspiracy.

Fever in my brain

Temperature 37 C .Nothing's wrong.

But head feels hot.

Is my brain on high temperature?

Burning with dissatisfaction.Or imperfection.

HAHA

PINK MARTINI

"Hang On Little Tomato"
The sun has left and forgotten me
It's dark, I cannot see
Why does this rain pour down
I'm gonna drownIn a sea
Of deep confusion

Somebody told me,
I don't know who
Whenever you are sad and blue
And you're feelin' all alone and left behind
Just take a look inside and you will find

You gotta hold on, hold on through the night
Hang on, things will be all right
Even when it's dark
And not a bit of sparkling
Sing-song sunshine from above
Spreading rays of sunny love

Just hang on, hang on to the vine
Stay on, soon you'll be divine
If you start to cry, look up to the sky
Something's coming up ahead
To turn your tears to dew instead

And so I hold on to his advice
When change is hard and not so nice
You listen to your heart the whole night through
Your sunny someday will come one day soon to you

The Perversions of Workplace Power

All the politics that go on in organizations are simply people jockeying for power and influence. It’s often easier to build greater informal power than to try to get the “rules” changed for your benefit. Influence and patronage, for example, are both potent sources of power, though neither appear on the organization chart. In nearly all organizations—especially large and complex ones—there is a constant process of shifting power structures.

The more macho the organization, the more power matters. Organizations afflicted with Hamburger Management become obsessed by power struggles and ambition.The reality is that there is only so much power available. To get more, you have to take it from others. In the 1990s and early 2000s, CEOs worked to take power for themselves and away from boards of directors and shareholders. Of late, shareholders have been trying to take it back. “Rising stars” try to sneak power away from established leaders. Divisions and departments “steal” power from the centre whenever they can. Central functions typically write policies and procedures that deny power to subsidiaries and operating divisions. And everyone in the upper reaches of a hierarchy takes power from the easiest source: those lower down.

When people feel that they have no power even over their own daily work schedules, the results are instantly stressful.Powerlessness—real or imagined—is one of the major causes of frustration, stress, and burnout. When people feel that they have no power even over their own daily work schedules, the results are instantly stressful.

In the past, only slaves and servants had no power in this way. To be without power is to be reduced to a paid slave. What we see today is even highly-educated professionals being treated as serfs, to be allocated crippling working hours without the resources or the freedom to decide how to live their own lives.
Disparities of power in the workplace are like wage disparities: everyone accepts that they will happen, but expects them to be held within reasonable limits.We know that the CEO will earn far more than the lowest-paid worker. We accept that as reasonable. But when it is 400 or 500 times more, that looks very like an abuse. It’s the same with power. No one expects the workplace to be an idealized democracy. But when it becomes a dictatorship or an oligarchy based on a tiny elite, we smell the corrupting effects of an obsession with power.In a civilized society, all power must be kept under constant scrutiny, and any abuses detected and dealt with before they can turn into abuses.

What we have today are corporations with too much power held in the hands of too few people. It’s producing stressful, toxic, and uncivilized working conditions for too many people.

It’s time to slow down, take a hard look at what is happening, and get back to a better balance.

REFERENCE:

http://www.slowleadership.org/2007/03/perversions-of-workplace-power.html

I'm a Joker. I am always favoured. I'll come to you if you play your cards right. Throw me away and you'll end up with a bunch of bananas on your hands. Take good care of your Joker. You'll need me to win . :)