Saturday, September 13, 2008

angers

it makes me feel like running in the midst of darkness

it makes me feel like downing pots of black dog

it makes me feel like i can't feel

it makes me feel like i am super

it makes me feel mute

it makes me feel like i want to strangle you until you choke and ask for forgiveness and i leave you alone to gasp for air and that's it

it makes me want to see you suffer worse than i do and i know you won't and i will end up feeling worse and in the end i just want to walk away

it makes me want to pierce every inch of my skin to remind me that it is not worth it to be mad

it makes me want to tear out every pieces of imperfection that is actually perfect

it makes me realize it is just not worth it

restless

i can't rest well knowing things are beyond control

i can't rest well having to try and swallow my beliefs and letting go of my pride

i can't rest well knowing i can't trust more than i could have

i can't rest well knowing i am being too convenient

i can't rest well feeling left out

i can't rest well being pissed off

i can't rest well being myself but having to live in a mirror

i can't rest well not able to do anything that could help at the moment

i can't rest well having to sit and wait

i can't rest well not trying to force it

i can't rest well thinking of things to think

i can't rest well because i see thoughtlessness

i just can't rest well